Instant Means Instant

I don't have pictures to follow this sad little "cooking" story, I was too upset and fighting back tears to whip out evidence of what happened. Let's just say this is why I don't get the Rachael Ray, Martha Stewart thing.


We've been trying to empty the pantry and refrigerator for a couple of weeks, we're going to try to eat more natural things. I know, I know it will be healthy, good for us, etc., but I have to admit I'm doing it because I feel so sorry for the animals that have no place to roam, shot full of hormones, the list is endless of the cruel treatment. All for the sake of profit. Out with the old, in with the new, it's time for a trip to the organic, healthy store.


It was like being in a foreign country. They don't know me here. Where are the Ho-Ho's, Swiss Cake Rolls, Diet Coke? Do I get extra points for remembering my go green shopping bags. I wondered around for over an hour (and this store is not big), somewhat overwhelmed by how tiny a jar of fruit spread (instead of jelly) could be and how much it cost.


After a $65.00 tab for one meal and just a few staples, one being organic milk that Big Daddy said actually tasted pretty good, I was headed home to start this great meal. I think just shopping in a healthy store made me feel like I didn't need to exercise that day. Wait...I never exercise.


No need to list all the ingredients, but let's just say it's the first time in 30 years I've purchased water chestnuts, green peas or cider vinegar. I'm the queen of substitution when it comes to recipes, but this one I followed exactly. I was actually proud of myself, it was looking good, tasting very good. I was just starting to think I should try this more often when I noticed the rice wasn't cooking. Patience my friend. I give it a stir, check it in a few...nothing.


I go back to my recipe and to my horror realize that it called for 2 cups of uncooked instant rice. It was in bold. I thought this was listed in bold because it clearly stated...do not cook the rice before dumping 2 cups into a million dollar recipe. Wrong! Bold because you need to use INSTANT brown rice.


A hint of worry hit me but not panic. Not yet. I don't eat rice, I don't drink coffee. I don't cook rice, I don't make coffee. So I'm thinking, seriously, how much difference can it make? It might take a little longer, no big deal. Let's just say I started this meal at 5:30, added the rice at 6:10, was supposed to be eating at 6:30. The rice, along with extra water and almost triple the chicken stock it called for was STILL cooking at 9:30 and not done!


9:30! My entire cul-de-sac was lights out, bootleg Jake had already picked Vienna on The Bachelor (which I do not watch) and UT who once trailed by 13 points was now leading OU in basketball. The sun had set and yet my rice was still not done!


Hunger pains and curiosity got the best of us so we decided to eat at 9:40. How was it you ask? Take your worst meal, ever...that's how it tasted. Horrible. Try as we may we couldn't hack it. I think the words, don't put that stuff down the disposal, it will clog it up pretty much said it all. By 10:15 we were all eating cheese toasts and PBJ's and praying morning would come so we could pour cereal from a box.



We have not had a meal at home since. And all the people said, Amen.





xoxo,